Note: I thought I would write out my passage from the meeting today. I changed it while I was writing and edited as well. The first sentence was my prompt from the random sentence generator. – Andi
“Everyone says they love nature until they realize how dangerous she can be. She is the mother of all things great and small. She creates and keeps ever changing all things. The viral and bacterial and microbial beings which she creates; she watches as they become the most potent little beings they can be, becoming transmittable, mutating with speed and an accuracy for disruption and change that none of her other creations can rival. The tiny beings use their special set of crafting skills to become the very best, hoping to see all of the world as they travel from host to host.
“She made the Spanish Influenza, the Avian Influenza and the common cold. She made Typhoid and Tuberculosis and Syphilis and a myriad of other tiny, invisible-to-human creations. An independent world in our broader world. The germs of the world.
“She made ants – able to lift many times their body weight and deeply social, relying on each other to command the world of bugs.
“Dogs. Cats. House pets. Zoo Animals. Animals seen on Safari.
“The great number of living organisms on the land, and the great number of living organisms in the water: at sea, in the ocean, populating the lakes and running with the water in the rivers.
“H2O. There was an H2O ban circling on the internet for years. People, unaware that H2O was more commonly known as water, disavowing its corrosive properties. The universal solvent, it is usually called. It can come as a solid, a liquid or a gas and it has a shot of killing a human in any of its forms. Freezing to death, drowning in any body of water big enough to cover nose and mouth, overheating in a steam room are all fates that could greet us.
“The reality is that all of nature is embodied with both the ability to create and the ability destroy. Some among us like to label the creation as inherently good and the destruction as inherently bad. But the naked truth of the matter is that very few things have inherent, intrinsic, unchanging value like that. All parts of nature can be used for good or for bad. Even the labels of good and bad themselves can be put into the employ of any cause that someone decides to pick up.”
I stop reading. I have selected to read a book from the 2020s because it is my Step 1 for gaining perspective. I have felt all the feelings – the hopelessness, the loss, the confusion, the grief. I have let the feelings exist, given them space to be and permission of affect me in that space. I have given myself a moment to allow my hurt, fear, and pain be abscond my reason. Letting my emotions, great and small, take over my entire world and douse my doorstep temporarily in black paint. And now, I was ready to start to gain perspective, before making my plan of action. You are fundamentally a woman of action, I whisper in my own head.
We can all temporarily feel permanently trapped in our individual moments. We think our moment is somehow unique and special and everlasting and none of those things are true. I remind myself gently that, us humans have had to face our own mortality since . . . since always. There is no point in which fear, death, and struggle suddenly became part of the human experience. There was no point when they was not parts of those intangible things that swim around creating our existence.
What we now know in our bones, in the 3030s, that was only starting to be discussed in the 2020s, is that everything goes through an exponential growth curve early in its reign. It happened at the Industrial Revolution, the Digital Revolution and all human-wide moments of change since then. The exponential growth curves themselves had an exponential growth curve, I think with a chuckle.
Now, we teach all humans who are still alive how to best accept a completely new paradigm for their lives because the average human has their entire world shift at least five times during their lifetime. I always include reading from the 2020s in my process. The overwhelm, the uncertainty and the fear radiate out of the writings so strongly that you feel like you are there being blasted by the uncertainty yourself, having it come into your world from all sides. They had to write about the wounds while they were still happening, fresher than fresh. I always hear the thread of the lost crying out for knowledge and guidance; it always makes me feel heard and normal. Normal to be a flawed and imperfect human, who does not always know what to do or where to go. A human who sometimes gets washed away in their own emotions and all the accompanying thoughts. The cacophony of things that we would rather not feel or realize washing over me. Washing over me and the rest of humanity as we dive into the depths, hoping to find meaning in the moment.